Co-author: Randall Wong
Self-love is defined as a high regard or appreciation of an individual's own happiness and well-being. To name a few, being accepting of oneself, prioritizing one's needs, and forgiving oneself when one is ingenuine or unkind to themselves are all examples of self-love. Oftentimes, one may choose to prioritize everything and everyone else, leaving no time for their own self-care. However, it is important to recognize that one’s needs are equally important. In this article are some tips on how we can practice self-love.
Disconnect to Reconnect
Staying off social media and engaging in activities that one enjoys is a great way to connect with oneself. Through various research, it has been found that taking time off social media is known to reduce stress and anxiety, improve sleep, and allows one to be more productive. For example, taking a quiet walk, reading a book while sipping on tea, or listening to your favorite music are great ways to decompress. While these activities may be simple, it helps one to slow down the pace of the day and engage in solitude to rest and recharge. Furthermore, as we spend more time focusing on doing the things we enjoy, it helps to bring joy and playfulness into one’s day-to-day lives.
Be kind to yourself
More often than not, one can be so kind to others while being cruel to themselves. They may criticize themselves for the things that may or may not be their fault. These thoughts can sound harsh and belittling. Some common criticisms can sound like “I will never be good enough!” or “I am such an embarrassment.” As such, triggering negative emotions that may make one feel bad about themselves. On the other hand, do you remember the last time you stopped to tell yourself “you did good today” or “you are enough”? These encouraging thoughts may not come as frequently or as naturally as the other. Thus, it is important to pay attention to them and create moments to be gentle to oneself.
In the coming week, take a moment to appreciate yourself, either silently in your head or out loud in the mirror. Try talking to yourself in a gentle, calm, and compassionate manner. Then, notice the difference. Our thoughts affect our feelings and behaviour. As such, when we alter the way we speak to ourselves, it would change how we feel towards ourselves and what we choose to do. If you find yourself being belittled by that inner critic of yours, be mindful of how it affects you.
Practising wellness
Wellness is the act of practicing healthy habits regularly to cultivate better mental and physical health. Typically, wellness is made up of 4 dimensions - Spiritual, Emotional, Physical, and Social. The following are some of the many ways that one can practice wellness.
Meditation. Try setting aside some time possibly before breakfast or before bed to give yourself some me-time. During this time, one would focus on being attuned with themselves without external distraction. Although it might seem intimidating to start, there are many meditation resources to guide you along.
Intentional living. It is the practice of living with a purposeful and conscious approach to one’s values, decisions and actions. It involves being mindful and committed to personal development and growth in aspects of life such as finance, career, relationships, spirituality and health. Intentional living can be done by creating a daily routine that supports your values and beliefs, reflecting regularly on your actions, setting clear goals about your day and week. Studies have shown that by practicing intentional living, people can benefit from making better decisions and managing stressful life events. Furthermore, it gives us a feeling of control over our actions and consequences and supports us to be more capable and present.
Practising Gratitude
According to various studies, people remember highly emotional events better than neutral events. It was suggested that our brain recognizes and is aware of such threats in order to protect us from future events. As such, our minds would naturally remember the negative events more vividly. Unfortunately, the little pockets of joy may get drowned out along the way. By practicing gratitude, we intentionally shift our attention to focus on the positive events that may have been washed away during the day.
Gratitude recall is a great way of recapping positive events that happened in your day. In this activity, you would list down 5-10 things that you are grateful about that happened in the day. It does not have to be in a particular order. For example, it can look like “I’m grateful that my co-worker took time to check in on me!”. Doing a Gratitude Recall has been found to have various benefits, such as better overall mental state, and improved physical and mental health. Interestingly, practicing this before bedtime has been associated with better sleep quality. It was suggested that the improvement was due to the indirect influence of a more positive mood before bed.
Overall, self-love can improve general functioning as one's needs are being fulfilled. It allows one to have an increased sense of happiness and self-worth. Furthermore, it helps one create healthy boundaries, increase their outlook in forming healthy relationships, and pursue things they like. Therefore, allow yourself to take care of your needs and celebrate the beauty of being you.