These days, it is common to see young children presented with a phone or a tablet to keep them entertained at the dinner table. In fact, it is common for parents to use mobile devices to occupy their children, be it for educational or entertainment purposes. In 2018, a survey by Singtel, a telecommunications provider in Singapore, revealed that children between the ages of eight to twelve spend an average of 35 hours a week just on entertainment alone. This is three hours more than the global average. Following this upward trend, a survey conducted by The Straits Times in 2021, found that two-thirds of children aged seven to nine in Singapore use smartphones every day, and are active on social media. Moreover, an article by The New Paper featured various observations by psychiatrists, clinical psychologists, coaches, counsellors from Touch Cyber Wellness, counsellors from National Addictions Management Services, and parents had revealed that increasing number of children are finding it hard to put their devices down. Children may throw tantrums, cry, or become aggressive when demanded to detach from their phones. Therefore, with an unhealthy reliance on devices being such a prevalent concern, what can one do to prevent it from happening? In this article, we hope to provide parents with some guidelines on how to manage their child’s usage and prevent them from becoming overeliant on their devices.
The beginning
The child’s access to devices is through their parents. As such, parental control is critical in determining the child’s usage. Right from the start, it is important for parents to set boundaries for their child. Time limits and limitations on the types of media one can consume should be established and managed. As time passes, it is normal for children to challenge these limits and may even react emotionally when the device is taken away. As such, it is important for parents to be firm and help the child understand that these boundaries are there to protect them.
Teenage years
As the child becomes a teenager, rather than setting firm boundaries, parents should gradually learn to listen to the teen’s perspectives and collaboratively set those boundaries together. In this stage of development, it is important to the teen that they get to partake in the development of boundaries. The inclusion of their views would bring about greater cooperation and effort from the teen. Through this process, children also learn to share their perspectives and negotiate, which are important skills to learn. However, as much as one tries to incorporate their child’s needs, it is essential that they take charge when necessary. As parents, one will have to consider areas that are negotiable and non-negotiable. While setting boundaries, it is common for children to get upset over it as they may not get all of their requests fulfilled. Hence, parents could try to tune in to their child’s feelings and validate them. Ultimately, helping the teen understand the importance of these boundaries.
Keeping within boundaries
As much as one may hope that their child can follow the rules, it is common if they fail to do so. It is important for parents to hear from their child’s perspective, understand the child’s difficulties, validate their experiences, and explore ways to maintain boundaries. Biologically, the child’s pre-frontal lobe, the part of the brain that controls planning, prioritising, and impulse control is still developing and will continue to develop till their mid to late twenties. As such, even though the child knows where the boundaries are, they may still fail to keep them for reasons that may even be hard for themselves to understand. Therefore, as parents, it is helpful to present oneself as a resource that the child can rely on and help them navigate through possible difficulties.
Moving forward
As of now, there are no recommended guidelines for how long a child should use their devices. However, based on various research, exposing the child to a device at an early age can result in many negative impacts if not moderated. Conversely, when these devices are used purposefully, it is possible for them to be beneficial to the child’s learning. It is inevitable that the child would eventually use these devices for learning or entertainment. Hence, it is crucial for parents to help them negotiate the boundaries and to moderate their use to prevent over-reliance.
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