Co-author: Zanise Lim Xuan
Caregivers happen to be one of the most powerful catalysts in promoting good mental health in their children’s lives. Parenting style has shown to have a lasting impact on the child’s development. The child’s perspectives of themselves, others, the world, how they relate to others, and how they interact with their environment can all be influenced by their experiences with their caregivers. Fostering a good caregiver–child relationship through support and love promotes good mental health in children. Furthermore, Caregivers' availability and responsiveness also plays a pivotal role in children's attachment styles. In this article, we hope to share more on how parenting styles could have an impact on children’s mental health and self-esteem.
What is self-esteem?
Self-esteem is defined as a combination of one’s opinions and feelings on their worth and value. It is developed through the accumulation of experiences through childhood and adulthood. Some factors that were found to influence self-esteem include validation and care from significant others, sense of belonging, academic results, and health. For example, children who grew up in environments where their needs were attended to tend to and had people that they could rely on often have a higher self-esteem than those who did not. On the contrary, children who grew up in environments where they were often belittled and invalidated could potentially have a lower self-esteem. Additionally, children who experience hostile parenting – being shouted at regularly, routined physical punishment, and being isolated when one misbehaves, can also lead to lower self-esteem.
Impact of self-esteem on mental health
Through a vast number of studies, self-esteem was found to have a direct impact on one’s mental health. It has been associated with depression, anxiety disorders, eating disorders, alcohol and drug abuse. Having high self-esteem makes one less vulnerable to mental health disorders while low self-esteem makes one more prone to the development of mental health disorders. It should be noted that having low self-esteem does not cause mental health disorders. Rather, low self-esteem could potentially lead to mental health disorders. Low self-esteem can reduce one’s quality of life and lower life satisfaction as one may often think or feel as though they are not good enough. They may engage in overly harsh self-criticism which can lead to sadness, guilt, anxiety, anger, or shame.
How do caregivers affect the child’s mental health and self-esteem?
Parenting styles refers to the way the caregivers interact and raise their child. It includes their attitudes and behaviour towards their child and the overall mood when these interactions take place. Depending on the parenting style, the way that the child interacts with their environment and people would also differ. For example, learning skills like being adaptable to changes, social skills, and emotion regulation are essential for forming and maintaining relationships Thus, influencing socioemotional and cognitive development. The accumulation of these interactions with their caregivers and environment would influence their self-esteem.
Authoritarian parenting style
An extremely strict parenting style that places high control and discipline on the child. These caregivers are likely to have very high expectations but offer limited warmth to the child. Across studies, it was found that children who grew up with this parenting style are likely to have lower self-esteem due to a lack of emotional validation of their efforts and constant criticism. This can result in feelings of inadequacy, fear of failure which hinders one from taking risks, or may constantly look to others for validation. Additionally, the lack of opportunity to explore independently could result in greater anxiety when they are without their caregivers. Hence, this may hinder their ability to make decisions and form and maintain meaningful relationships. Through various studies, children raised with this parenting style have shown to have higher levels of depression, anxiety, and aggression issues.
Authoritative parenting style
These caregivers are characterised by having a balance between warmth and control. They are nurturing, supportive, and responsive to their child’s needs. Importantly, they set clear expectations and rules for their children. With this parenting style, children tend to develop a higher self-esteem as their opinions and experiences are valued and validated. Generally, with nurturing parents, these children would have more opportunities to explore their environment and interact independently. As such, children raised by authoritative parents tend to be more independent and socially accepted. Across studies, these children are less likely to report mental health issues like depression and anxiety.
Permissive parenting style
This parenting style is characterised by few expectations and inconsistent discipline over the child. They tend to be more indulgent and avoid setting limits and structure. As such, the child would have limited exposure to rejection and thus limiting the skills needed to deal with failures. Across studies, children raised with permissive parenting have commonly been associated with low achievement across different aspects (e.g., academic performance), poor decisions-making and problem-solving skills, and inability to manage time and habits. Moreover, alcohol abuse and sexual behaviours was commonly found among female adolescents while temper tantrums were common in male adolescents. These factors can contribute to lower self-esteem and poorer mental health. However, with permissive caregivers being highly responsive to the child’s needs, the presence of parental warmth and affection could protect the child from risky behaviour like substance abuse and mental health issues like depression. Furthermore, although there are varying results, children raised with this parenting style could still have good self-esteem.
Negligent (Uninvolved) parenting style
This parenting style is characterised by minimal supervision, emotional support, and responsiveness from caregivers. Furthermore, caregivers tend to be disengaged and indifferent to the child’s needs. Children raised with an uninvolved caregiver tend to be emotionally withdrawn (e.g., showing little empathy to others and feeling empty). Furthermore, it is likely for them to feel unsupported, abandoned, and rejected by their parents which can lead to self-doubt and lower self-worth. Across studies, these children tend to have lower self-esteem, self-confidence, and poorer mental health. Furthermore, the child is less likely to perform well academically and more likely to engage in misbehaviours such as substance and alcohol abuse.
Authoritarian, authoritative, permissive and negligent are the 4 types of parenting styles that are commonly used by caregivers. It is helpful for caregivers to be mindful of the impact of their parenting styles so as to provide the full support their child needs. Caregiver-child relationship is one of the most impactful relationships for a child as that is one of the first few relationships they will ever have in life. These initial impacts would shape the child’s perspective and beliefs. Hence, creating a loving and nurturing environment that provides unconditional love and support for the child would best support the child’s needs and development.