It's on the tip of our tongues, or rather the shrill end of our (child's) voice box.
You might wonder what this is all about - but there's a whole controversy/movement about using a method of extinguishing an undesirable behaviour (i.e., crying) by ignoring on the part of the caregiver. "Cry It Out", also known as "controlled crying", is an "extinction method" of ending - "extinguishing" - the cuing for attention, help, nourishment, hydration, support, and loving, physical comfort that is programmed into the biology of young mammals. Yes, that includes us humans.
I've written it many times, and I'm happy to say it again - We're all hardwired for human connection, and that means how we grow to relate to our caregivers, directly relate to how others symbolise our patterns of interaction with ourselves and future relationships in life.
Imagine leaving an infant in the cot and hearing him/her scream their lungs out in total distress until their cries begin to sound weaker and weaker and they give up in sheer knowledge that it is futile to try - they eventually shutdown their pleas for care and assistance, and drift away to sleep from sheer exhaustion. I think this says it all. I don't know about you lot, but it's given me a disturbing emotional response.
I'll leave it to the good hands of an excellent article that writes to this issue posted in 26 Jan 2015 on Philly Voice:
Let's look at the multiple ways of understanding this complex phenomena.
When spanking becomes second nature - Here are some reminders.
Sex Toy or Therapeutic Instrument? What do you think?
Here's to the start of our Quote of The Day series.
It's time to end this madness. CIO fails to encourage what is a fundamental part of our humanness - connection.
Let's make sense of our anxiety and how it relates to our unconscious experience.
Today, we remember prolific child psychotherapist, Dr Haim Ginott, who pioneered many techniques to understand the inner world of a child. I highly recommend therapists starting out to have a look at his work. We owe him a debt of gratitude.
Happy Mothers' Day to all mum's and your hardwork - you do much more for us than you know!
There are many things even the most concerned and well-intentioned parent might do that inadvertently grows anxiety in their children. What follows may be the familiar frustration and disappointment that parents themselves feel about their own parenting capacities, or a view that their children are non-compliant or worse, inherently weak. Let's have a look...
When we tell kids not to cry, we send the message that crying is unacceptable, when, in fact, it is a normal and helpful response to expressing sadness. Here's how to encourage your child’s expression of feelings.