Co-Author: Ricole Tay
In Singapore, food is a big part of many events and casual meetings. Furthermore, specific food is often associated with different occasions. For example, turkeys are associated to Christmas, while pineapple tarts, steamboats, and Bak Kwa indicate that the Lunar New Year is approaching In Singapore, December to February has always been interesting as the change from Christmas decorations and music all over town to Chinese New Year themed decorations and music happens almost instantly. As such, for people celebrating both occasions, it means that one would feast repeatedly. For people who do not celebrate these occasions, the holiday season can also mean more time for gatherings and exploring new eateries in town. Such occasions facilitate social interactions and bring extended families and friends together while pampering oneself with the vast spread of choices of food. While the majority of individuals may look forward to indulging themselves in the food, individuals with an eating disorder and those in recovery may find it challenging to do so. Such occasions can be extremely triggering as they may feel guilty over losing control over what they eat or, perhaps, they may avoid eating altogether. Moreover, the social pressures of needing to eat in a social setting as a form of respect adds additional stress and worry. On top of one’s internal struggles, there is a high chance that one would have to deal with relatives passing remarks about one’s body regardless of their intentions. We understand that this might be a challenging time for these individuals, and we hope this article will bring comfort and serve as a reminder not to be so hard on oneself.
A few main types of commonly known eating disorders - Anorexia Nervosa (AN), Bulimia Nervosa (BN), and Binge- eating disorder. People with AN typically have this irrational belief that they are overweight, even though they may be on the other end of the spectrum. They have an intense fear of gaining weight, which governs their avoidant and restrictive behaviour. People with BN consume unusually vast amounts of food at specific intervals and proceed to attempt to purge to compensate for the calories consumed. Various purging methods include but are not limited to fasting, laxatives, forceful vomiting, and excessive exercise. Lastly, binge eating disorder is similar to BN, except individuals do not restrict their calorie intake or use purging behaviour. However, BN and binge eating disorder individuals often feel a lack of control during binges.
While individuals with eating disorders may display symptoms on a day-to-day basis, one may notice that their symptoms intensify uncontrollably during the festive season for various reasons. It is common to experience a change in routine through the festive seasons, and the daily schedule they find comforting is compromised. In addition, individuals are often placed in social situations surrounded by an abundance of food.
Tips one can practice when getting through the festive season:
Mental Preparation. Choosing the food one wants to eat for the day would help reduce some anxiety and stress when faced with a large variety of food. For example, one can get the list of food that will be presented on the actual day. Doing so allows one to plan ahead and not be taken aback by the range of food. Planning can also be done with trusted friends or family to help the individual keep to their plan during these meals.
Plan ahead. Part of recovery is practicing and acknowledging that no food is inherently good or bad. Despite doing well in recovery, some may fall back and give in to their old habits during this time of the year. Individuals with eating disorders may have specific ‘fear foods’ that they would typically avoid in their regular routine. Howbeit, as mentioned above that the festive season results in a shift in routine; individuals with an eating disorder may not be able to stay away from those ‘fear foods.’ One tip they can consider is scheduling a session with their support team or therapist before and/or after the event. This allows the individual to evaluate and plan to better manage their ‘fear foods’ that they might or have encountered.
Practice healthy boundaries. Being attuned with one’s mind and body. When the conversation makes one feels uncomfortable, instead of continuously participating in them, learn to walk away respectfully from these conversations. Furthermore, learning to say no to social gatherings when one does not feel up for it can help reduce the stress and anxiety that these events can bring. Alternatively, one can choose to leave earlier to prevent overstretching.
Stay away from social media if need be. It is not surprising that social media activities increase exponentially during the festive season. It can be triggering for individuals with eating disorders to have their social media feed flooded with individuals posting attractive pictures of themselves, as one may find themselves caught in a painful cycle of feeling inadequate and constant comparison. If you find yourself feeling that way, it is time to take a break from social media.
Tips for friends and families
Be kind. Be considerate and respectful with your words. One man’s joke is another man’s nightmare - avoid commenting on others’ physical appearance even if you meant it as a joke, as the other party might not take it the same way.
Be there for them. If you know someone who is struggling or may struggle during this period, check up on them. Even though you may not be able to fully comprehend and understand what they are feeling, listening to them and giving support go a long way. The first step to recovery is supporting them to seek the help they need.
Take the necessary actions you know will make you feel better. Remember that taking a step back does not invalidate your recovery process. It is already courageous for you to take the step to face the situation head-on. Be patient and kind to yourself. We understand that having to go through the festive season can be difficult, but remember that you do not have to go through it alone. Reach out, and start your recovery journey today.
Interesting reads
https://www.verywellfamily.com/how-to-handle-eating-disorders-around-the-holidays-6834545
https://centerforchange.com/coping-loved-ones-eating-disorder-holidays/