Co-author: Tan Ing Keet Faythe
Welcome to term 3! After the long break in June, has your child adjusted to the routine of going back to school? The inertia to start proper after a long break may be strong, thus it is perfectly normal if they are taking more time than usual to fall back into their routine. Typically, the schedule for the second half of the year can feel more packed compared to the first half of the year. Stress levels can increase sharply after the first month back in school as examinations would be just round the corner. As it may be hard for your child to recognise and regulate the stress and anxiety associated with examinations, in this article, we will discuss the different ways in which you can help your child understand their emotional states and different ways to help them cope.
What causes examination stress and anxiety?
Stress is a negative reaction to excessive pressures or demands, usually manifesting in situations we feel we cannot manage or control. Examination stress happens for many reasons. One of the most common factors is the fear of failure which is when a child is afraid of failing their examination or failing to meet their own expectations of themselves or others’ expectations of them, resulting in a great amount of pressure. Besides, the child may feel underprepared as they might not feel like they have studied sufficiently, resulting in feelings of fear and anxiety. In some instances, performance anxiety can occur when the child has excessive feelings of fear or worry that limits their ability to perform.
How can we help?
1. Spot the signs. The first step to management is to be aware of the issue. Thus, here are some signs which may indicate that your child is under examination stress:
Changes in appetite. Stress hormones can cause one’s appetite to fall in the short term. However, persistent stress can cause one to eat more than usual. Moroever, your child may be more inclined to reach for comfort foods that are high in fat and sugar to provide them with a temporary boost in energy levels.
Changes in sleep pattern. Does your child look more tired than usual? Stress can cause one to take a longer time to sleep. In some instances, it can disrupt sleep which lowers the quality of rest.
Changes in mood. Lack of sleep can cause an increase in negative emotions like frustration, irritability, or sadness and a decrease in positive emotions. The fall in positive mood can also cause one to lose motivation to engage in activities that they used to enjoy.
2. Talk about it
Instead of just asking your child how their day was in school, address the white elephant in the room. Check in with your child, give them the time and space to talk about how they feel about school and examinations. It is important to validate their emotions and help them understand that some stress and anxiety is a normal response during examination period. Additionally, teach them ways to recognise stress, and how they can cope with it. Involve your child in coming up with ways on how to deal with their nerves during stressful periods in school. As parents, you can also empower them by affirming their efforts to manage their school work and other activities. By acknowledging their efforts, we effectively validate their hard work which helps to increase their motivation and self-confidence.
3. Establish good routines
Studies have shown that foods which are high in fat, sugar, or caffeine such as soft drinks, sweets and chocolates can make children feel more irritable and moody as these comfort foods provide a temporary boost in energy then end with a crash. The sudden fall in energy level can cause your child to feel a surge in stress and anxiety as they may not understand their sudden fall in energy. To help them understand how food can affect us, bring them grocery shopping and encourage them to pick out healthier snacks. Additionally, it is recommended for children and teenagers to get 8 to 10 hours of sleep every day to optimize their growth and development. Adequate sleep can facilitate better attention, concentration, memory, and learning. Thus, with all the benefits that come with having enough rest, it is important to follow a bedtime routine.
4. Make time for breaks and entertainment
Taking breaks in between studying sessions can help your child improve their mood and productivity. Make some time for them to relax and recharge, this helps them clear their minds and relieves stress. You can also plan activities during their breaks such as going to the park, the movies, or exercising.
5. Manage expectations
Based on research, children as young as one-month old can sense their parents' emotions and be affected by it. As parents, it is normal to stress over your child’s examinations as their grades would inevitably affect their options for schools and careers. As such, you may unintentionally add pressure on your child as you set expectations that could feel out of reach for them. Moreover, you may also feel anxious for your child during examination periods. The increase in pressure and anxiety from sensing your emotions can contribute to their stress and anxiety levels as well. To prevent overloading them with your expectations and emotions, take a moment to listen and attend to your child’s needs, be reassuring, and treat them with positive regards. Manage their expectations as well as your own, and keep in mind that there is more to life than just grades. After the examination, you can help your child process by talking about how they feel, validating them and acknowledging their efforts.
Exam stress and anxiety could manifest in various forms and is subjective to each child. We hope that this article has helped you to better understand how exam stress and anxiety come about, as well as how to help your child manage it. If your child finds it hard to manage, reach out today.
Interesting reads
https://www.family-central.sg/news-articles/cope-with-exam-stress/
https://www.theguardian.com/education/2022/may/06/exam-stress-how-help-children-cope-gcses-a-levels