Happy April Fool’s everybody!

Hopefully you were not pranked too badly today. If you were the prankster, did you make up with the person that you pranked? Do you know why we play pranks on April fool’s day in the first place?

April fools is a day where harmless pranks are customarily played. Dating back to the 1500s, April fool’s day is believed to have originated when France changed from the Julian calendar to the Gregorian calendar. As the news was slow to spread, people failed to recognise that the start of the year had moved to the 1st of January, and continued celebrating it from the last week of March to the 1st of April. Later in the 18th century, April Fool’s day was popularised throughout Britain and eventually became a tradition where pranks and jokes were played to evoke laughter. Unarguably, humour is an indispensable part of our lives; we are drawn to humour in most situations - to relieve stress or lighten the mood. Unsurprisingly, humour brings about a number of benefits, including:

Reduces stress
Decreases anxiety
Improves memory
Enhances social connections
Increases pain tolerance (temporarily)

What is an inner child

When we think of humour, we often form the association with something fun, laughter, or children. Needless to say, all of us have a part of us that seeks out fun and games. This child-like aspect is also known as the ‘inner child’ where emotions, memories, beliefs from the past, and hopes and dreams for the future are held. Growing up, we are often taught to hide negative emotions for fear of burdening others. Thus, we learn to mask these emotions with how we assume adults would react. Throughout our lifetime, these experiences accumulate and our inner child carries both the happy memories of innocence, playfulness, creativity, hope, as well as our wounds from painful memories. These wounds and painful memories may then contribute to challenges we face in adulthood, especially when we are triggered by events that bring back unpleasant memories of the past.

Connecting with our inner child

Connecting with our inner child emotionally helps us get to know ourselves better. When our inner child feels secure, we are able to present ourselves more confidently and comfortably. On the other hand, if our inner child feels unsafe, we in turn, feel insecure, disoriented and disorganised in life. A healthy inner child allows us to have the courage to explore and tolerate failure without being overwhelmed by fear. Knowing we are safe to explore allows us to act rationally without chasing the approval of others. Being well-connected to our inner child has been found to reduce depression symptoms, anxiety, and disproportional reaction to situations that are triggering. A deeper connection to our inner child enables us to be more authentic to ourselves. It goes without saying that without limiting our expression of self, we can have better interpersonal relationships and emotion regulation. Some ways you can consider connecting with your inner child include:

Revisiting childhood memories. Look through old photo albums and relive the emotions you felt through this life journey
Re-engage in activities you enjoyed doing in the past. Play the games you used to play when you were younger.
Talk to your inner child. Write letters or journals to yourself to get in touch and explore your feelings associated with past experiences.

While exploring emotions related to past experiences your inner child might feel vulnerable and in need of protection. It is therefore important to be mindful of the state of your inner child. If you feel overwhelmed, do take time to rest and recuperate before you continue to reminisce.

Is my inner child okay?

How do we know if we have been engulfed by our past unpleasant memories?

The state of our inner child is closely linked to how we experience life as adults. Indications of having an unhealthy inner child may include feelings of guilt and shame, as well as constant feelings of fear and anxiety. An unhealthy inner child may also surface in how we treat ourselves. Being overly critical of ourselves, demonstrating negative self-talk (e.g., I’m so stupid) or self-sabotaging behaviour such as limiting self-beliefs (e.g., I won’t be able to do it well) may be another indicator of an unhealthy inner child. Other indicators of an unhealthy inner child include the inability to be present in the moment, by constantly ruminating about the past, and having unhealthy relationships with others, such as engaging in avoidance or gaslighting behaviours.

Healing the inner child

To heal our inner child, we can work on reducing anxiety and processing unpleasant memories and experiences by keeping in touch with our feelings, both the positive and the negative. Although revisiting unpleasant memories may be triggering, it is an essential step to healing our inner child. Be aware of what we are feeling when emotions arise - do remember that there is no right or wrong way to process our experiences. Some other ways to heal our inner child include:

Creating a routine for self-care. Eat well, sleep enough, and exercise regularly. To keep mentally healthy, we must first keep our physical body healthy.
Start a new hobby and integrate it into your daily life. Starting a new hobby could give us an interesting break away from our daily lives. Some hobbies you could consider include crochet, painting, and yoga.
Focus on celebrating successes no matter how small. Every little success is a step closer to growth. It doesn’t matter how big or small our achievement is, what matters is our mindset of growth.

When we avoid unpleasant or hurtful memories, they resurface in self-destructive behaviours, such as overworking, overcompensating, turning to addiction, or projecting aggression. Only when we learn to adequately address these wounds, will we be able to heal our inner child and live a life of greater clarity.

Interesting reads

https://www.verywellmind.com/health-benefits-of-humor-and-laughter-5101137

https://sci-hub.se/https://doi.org/10.1515/humr.1999.12.3.301'

https://integrativepsych.co/new-blog/what-is-an-inner-child

https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/inner-child-work

Co-author: Belinda Sng Qi Rong